Thursday, December 15, 2005

Dead

I see nothing
I hear nothing
I smell nothing
I eat nothing
I bite nothing

Guess what?!
I am dead
I am going to die
I am running out of time
I havent start revising and preparing for my papers
I have no motivation
I have no confident
I have no efforts
I have nothing

I am brainless
I am useless
I am stupid

where are all my motivation gone???
please come back by my side
I really need you
I really need this to pick up my books
I really need to score well
I really need to go to school
or else, i will bored to death

I am dead
I know I cant do well in anything
I knew it
and I just knew it

WHY?!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

night

I’ve a lot in my mind. There’re lots I want to pour out but I can’t. Ever you try before that you want to say something but the voice seems to trap by your throat?! I’m facing that problem right now.

Sigh, I just don’t know how to describe. Never mind, just keep them to myself. When it’s time, I will vomit out every single word. Good night, night.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Wheeeee...

Gonna scream
Gonna dance
Gonna shout
Gonna laugh !!!

My best friend wen ching will be back on the 19th of december. This is called 'Joy'.
I miss her very much. and so does her other friends.

Wheeeeee... she'll be back. in 2 weeks time. let's start the count down

^^

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Regrets

Life isn’t as easy as I’ve thought.
To survive among the best is even harder.

Time flies. Another new year is waiting for my arrival. By that time, I’ll be another year older. Oh my, I feel that I am old. I really can’t accept this. By this age of me, I am such a failure and gain nothing, learn nothing new and achieve nothing. My failure has ruined the plan I’ve made. Nope, my parents made for me.

Since young, my future is already well-planned by parents. From kindi to primary school to secondary school to college and to uni. Well, I’m happy that they’ve transferred me to suria in my secondary years. I really appreciate the time in my secondary years because I have such nice friends like yan, yen, ni, tham, chi, shin, wen, yee, dred, jian, ho, meng…
They are so nice, I’m glad that I have them all around me.

Since young, I was told to take up the course in uni. Yeah. Parents ask me to do so. They are my parents, I have to obey them, do as they told. How much I do not like a certain thing, I still have to make myself to ‘like’ them. At the end, hatred came. Right now, I’m retaking a few papers as I do not meet the minimum requirements into Uni. Having trial now. Just started today. However, I think I am not going for the next few papers. I have tried my very best to pour out what I have prepared days ago. Too bad, I passed up an untouchable set of blank papers again. Just like what I’ve done in June. yeah, i failed that paper. same thing will happen on this paper again.

I am really regretted for signing up to retake these papers. I really hate myself for being that. Regret for something isn’t a good feeling. My regret consists of hatred, anger, sorrow and sadness. There are few things that made me regret and I don’t want to think back about them. I can’t erase them from my mind but they have carved deeply in my heart. Regret for decision I made bring me pain. And now, I’m suffering. Books I hate are sitting still in front of me. Arghhh…

Whenever problems come and need a solution or decision, I’ll think twice, triple…
So that I wouldn’t regret
So that lesser pains in me.

I still don’t know how am I going to face the future. I’m not young and my friends (everyone) have found their uni and some already completed a year or two from their 4 or 5 years degree programme. I’ve lost my track. I don’t know what I can do next. what else can i do??? I only know how to eat and sleep at home. How useless I am!!!

I’m useless
Useless
Useless
Useless

Friday, November 11, 2005

A Sudden Blue...

There is a sudden of blue mood with me. I don’t know why. All of a sudden, I feel sad. Sigh… i feel like crying too. What I can do now is keep sighing…

What’s the problem with me?! My mood is really down. No one can talk to me. Best Friend in kedah busy with her studies because she is having exam soon. Best Friend in TBS having exam too. Best Friend in UK is busy with her essays. Besides, that’s impossible for me to talk to her on phone as the calling cost would be very expansive. By the way, she has not got my letter. I posted it last Monday. Today is already Friday. Mr. Postman, please don’t lost my letter to her.







PS. Congratulation to Jimmy that he got what he wants. Don’t worry so much!
Good luck in yours exam, ching, fang and khee. And so to you all, my friends.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

useless me, brainless me

I’m not pleased at all. Why my dad always asks me when my examination is? How is my preparation? I don’t like he asks me about all these. I hate him when he compares my results with his friend’s daughter. Sigh. He does that always. Hate!!!

To tell you the truth, I prepared nothing. Trial is in the mid of November. I have nothing about books in my mind. Not at all. No bio’s facts, no chem’s info. Not a single stuff except TV programmes, my meals and sleeping in my brain.

I know. People do a lot better than I am. I have put in my best efforts to do the very best I can. However, it came out a very disappointed result. *the result is ok but no universities want me* I am really fed up after I got my results in august. Now that I have to re do all over again (on parents’ wish). I have no time, no hope and no strength. All the while (these few months), I just sit at the sofa with the TV remote control and watch TV from morning till night. My friend always asks me to study but I can’t put the strength together. I forgot what I’ve learnt last time.

I know I’m cheating on myself. (And my friends). I told them I’d studied. Indeed, I have done nothing at all. I felt sorry to everyone especially my parents. They raise me up, give me a good condition to study and to live, show me the direction of what to do in the future, provide me all the best with their efforts. They just want me to score well in the exam to enter a better university, but I can’t follow as they said. They’re my entire fault. My fault.

I know I am going to disappointed them once again. I don’t think I can do better than the previous. With my very best efforts also, I tend to forget what I’ve studied lately. Today while having tea with friend, I could not answer her questions she set on spot. How brainless I am!

I really don’t know how to face the exam. Hopeless…



*lots grammar mistake, sorry*

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I hate exams!

I’ve quit from my job. My last day was 30th September. Everything was normal on that day. There was nothing much special as I still have to do from copying to photocopying.

I’ve resigned from the job make me even lazier than usual. Since stating of October, I am staying at home. Do the normal 3 things, eat sleep and watching television. Actually I should have start revising and studying as my trial exam is coming soon. 4 months passed. I’ve forgot what I’ve learnt. I’ve forgot what the teachers have thought. How am I going to sit for the exam? Now I’ve just less than a month time. Less than 30 days. I’ve to finish all the 5 books of my biology and chemistry. Do you think I’ve enough time for everything? Besides, I’ve to take practical examination. Worse is that, I’ve forgot the way to do experiments, those chemical reagents and effects and planning. Oh my! I am very sure that I can’t finish. I can’t focus at all. So many books are waiting for me. Genetic stuff in bio is my weakest part. Start studying it really takes my life. I hate it so much! There are so many things I don’t understand. These and those. All I can say is, I hate genetics!!!


listening to ayumi hamasaki's heaven now. this is a nice song.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Chocolate

How chocolate evolved.

Chocolate, as we know it today, first appeared in the form of “bitter water” known as xocoatl during the Mayan civilization as early as the sixth century. The word “chocolate” is derived from this very Mayan word. Cocoa trees are said to have originated in the Amazon some 4000 years ago and the Mayans were the first to cultivate them. The Aztecs, however, believed cocoa plants were brought down from heaven by their god Quetzalcoatl in 1200 A. D.

In the Mayan and Aztec cultures, cocoa was the basic for xocoatl- a thick, unsweetened drink believed to be a health elixir. Spices such as hot chilli pepper and corn meal were used to add flavour to the drink, as sugar was unknown to the Mayans and Aztecs. Aztec emperor, Montezuma, used to drink 50 goblets of thick chocolate everyday for its nourishing and aphrodisiac qualities.

In 1528, Hernando de Oviedo y Valdez inspired the making of chocolate in its current sweet form when he presented Spanish King Charles V with cocoa beans and the necessary tools for its preparation. The Spaniards mixed the beans with sugar, vanilla, nutmeg, cloves, allspice and cinnamon to create tantalizing, fashionable chocolates. These chocolates were reserved for the nobility only.

It was in 1643 that chocolate took on a new role; Spanish Princess Maria Theresa gave her fiancé, Louis XIV of France an engagement gift of chocolate. Ever since, chocolate was the preferred girt for it was a luxury as well as an aphrodisiac.


this article taken from a booklet. however, i forgot where i 've taken from.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

=.=''

Everyone is busy
But me
The only one who is
Sitting here
Waiting for the lunch time to arrive

Strange
Stomach not hungry at all
Might be the full breakfast
This morning

Two pieces of bread
With strawberry jam
A big bowl of warm mix bean soup
A handful of corn chips
And
Two handful of chocolate muesli

All are my favourite
See
How large the stomach I have?!

12.45pm
Thursday
25 August 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005

Down to boredom

There is a LONG pause in my world.
Nobody talk to me
Nobody message me
I just feel very bored
In the office

Have been doing all these same tasks
For weeks
Same kind of days
Same kind of life
Same kind of routine

Feeling kind of tired
Nobody ever listen to me
Nobody ever can talk to me
I am very quiet sitting here doing my stuff
In the office

Silently
I can hear only the pen noising
I can hear only my finger tapping
I can hear only the radio singing
In the office

Silently
I am now waiting for the lunch break
After lunch
I will wait for time to go home

Home
Great
However
The next day will be having the same routine
again

>.<


Monday
August 22, 2005
10.45am

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Printer = dumb

Yeah, right now is about quarter to four in the afternoon. I’m sitting in front of my laptop in the office typing this post now. I’ve been here for the whole day doing calculation and printing bills. Kind of tired. However, there is no other choice for me not to do them. If I want to get my day of salary, I’ve got to do everything.

Printing. Hate it!!! That HP deskjet 3650 printer acted stupidly. Already 2 times, the paper stuck when printing. I had to open up the cover and try to pull the paper out. Hard. The printer jams all the time. When I can’t just pull out the printer, I have to use the scissors or a pen to poke it or try to tore the papers into pieces. Arghh… whatever.

Besides that, I have done a lot of mistake today. Might be the rainy day causes me. Oh, no way, I shouldn’t blame the weather. It was my entire fault for not concentrated in doing things. What can I do?! Tomorrow, my result is going to release. I really never think of it. Do I ever think of that? Okay, I admit, sometimes. But I will only spare my free time or lunch time or the time visiting the toilet thinking about what a will get for my result.

Just hope for all the best tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

whoops

Whoops. It has been a long time since my last post. Sorry, guess I don’t have spare time for blogging since I started working. Life is tough. Working might be fun sometimes, but sometimes it’s not. You really need to concentrate when doing things. Well, I am not, all the time. Sitting in the office from morning till evening causes me back pain. The room is cold. Luckily there is the radio. All of us are listening to Wah FM everyday. Everyday my aunt and I are the last to step our feet out from the office. She is really a workaholic. Once reach home, its already time for dinner. Then rest or watch TV. And then sleep as early as possible because the next day I have to wake up very early. Normally I will wake up before 7am.

Today might be a tough day for me. I woke up by 6.45am in the morning. Took a bath, changed and then went downstairs to take my breakfast. GREAT! Today my breakfast was crunchy chocolate muesli with milk. Cereal is my favourite. I can’t live without it. However, my family does not really like muesli.

Okay, then I waited for my aunt to take me. She was early today, so we reached her office by 8.15am. Once I sat at my place, I took out all my files. AND start working, right. Yesterday my new laptop was arrived. Oh, please correct me, not mine; it’s the company’s property. Today, I am going to start using this laptop. It is Acer Aspire 3003NLCi series laptop coloured in silver. It has 15.o” XGA TFT LCD, 40GB HDD, DVD/CD-RW Combo, 256MB DDR, 802.11b/g wireless LAN…

Whatever… I just don’t know what they are.

First of all, I had to do billing. And print the bills later. Phew. It really takes me some times to get used with this laptop. Wahahaha… this is the first time I am using the laptop. The keyboard was really soft. And it’s soundless. Just does not look like mine at home. I think I am going to ask my dad to get me one of this. 2K plus plus. Do you think he’ll get it for me?

Actually now is already lunch time. I am waiting for them to take out the lunch from food stalls. I am very hungry now as I can hear my stomach ‘grrrriiiiii… grooooo…’ all the time. Foods… where are you?!


Lunch is here. Got to go!


P.S. I’ve steal some time when I was working to compose. Already face the comp for the whole morning. Feeling very dizzy now…

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A busy Monday

I did not really want to wake up today. What to do?! I needed to get up to work. After showering, I felt fresh. Took my breakfast and waited for my aunt to take me in the morning. Every day my aunt will offer me a ride together so I can save my toll fare and petrol. Besides, sometimes I can take a small sleep in her car.

Today I didn’t get to sleep because aunt kept on talking to me on the way to the office. Hmmm… I got very fresh when I reached the office. Well greeted by the dogs in my aunt’s office. Yucks! I hate it. They licked me! Luckily I wore pants today.

As usual, every morning I will have to ask my manager or seniors what can I do? My manager asked me to sit first. After 10 minutes, she brought out a very big box and took out a pile of papers from it. I guess it was about 7cm thick. My senior asked me to fill in the forms. I have to fill in the particulars of the customers such as IC no. and address. That’s easy! I know I can do it nice and fast. Erm… there were about 75++ pieces. I wrote and filled. After an hour, my senior came and looked at what I’ve done. Then, she took out piles of papers and pointed to the box and said, you’ve got to fill all of the papers in the box. Oh my God! All together I have about 400 pieces of papers!!! Luckily my senior passed about 100pieces of papers to my other colleague.

Okay, fine. I sit at my place from 8.40am till 1pm. Arghh… hungry! Then only I realized it was already lunch hour. I waited for my colleague to buy food from food stall so I continued to do my things. Filled the forms and filled the forms. Right hand was tired and fingers were pain. 1.40pm. finally my lunch was back to the office. I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed it and ate. I used about 10 minutes to finish it. After that I just rushed back to my place and continue my works. About 4pm, suddenly I felt sleepy and fall asleep accidentally. Just on my desk! Aiks… hope everyone never realized that I was taking a nap there. 4.20pm. woke up. Feeling fresh and then continue to do my task.

It was 5.30pm. Hmmm… glad that I already finished about 225pieces. And it’s 5.30pm now. Office hours ended! Just at that time, the manager from other department came to my place and just had a look. He just said, ‘wrong wrong wrong!’ I was stunt. Did that mean I have filled something wrong? Then he explained to me that I need to fill in the original forms but not the photocopy forms. Now you see I have to redo all over again tomorrow. REDO!!! I have used up hours and hours to fill them up and already finished almost 75percents. Tomorrow I have to re-check and re-do those with the unoriginal copy of forms. I have wasted up my time and energy for today’s works. Don’t know how it would look like tomorrow.

Just hope it will be a pretty day.

Another day passed. Think I need to brush up right now, if I want to get a cool fresh look tomorrow morning. Night~

Thursday, August 04, 2005

My first day of working

Today is my first day of working. I’m working in an office as a clerk. My working hour is from 8.30am to 5.30pm. In between, there is an hour of lunch break.

I have no working experience at all. And this is going to be my very first job. And this time, I will try to gain as much experience as I can. What have I done on my very first day?! Firstly, I was given 2 thick files to separate out the bills accordingly the date and rearranged them again accordingly to the amount. I thought they were easy. However, they took me 5 hours to finish all! I was also given a copy of paper and to calculated the amounts and filled it. God, I did many mistakes and used the correction pen all over the papers. Sigh… The copy needed to be passed up. My manager just looked at them and smiled sheepishly. I was then given a very BIG file again. Well, I had to check at all the price one by one. Well, that’s the easiest thing for me. The hardest thing of all will be the photocopy machine. It took me times to deal with it. Iksss… that’s tough. People as clumsy and dumb like me really need some times to deal with it. I am still learning to use it.

Aiks… I still have to work out with the file and billing tomorrow. Think it will be a tough day tomorrow. Think it positive! Weekends is coming soon! There will be time for me to hang out with my best friends and take some rest!

P.S: might be my posture problem when sitting, I am suffering from back pain all the time. Sigh…

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

痛且美麗

雪撒下來﹐好美麗﹗

花撒下來﹐好美麗﹗

錢撒下來﹐好美麗﹗
但會痛﹐痛且美麗啊﹗

快樂如此稀薄而短暫﹐
悲傷卻為什麼總是綿綿不斷﹖



Quoted from
Pourquoi 布瓜的世界
幾米 作品精選集

Monday, August 01, 2005

難過的快樂

我常常感到難過。

其實並沒有真正發生什麼大事﹐
只是想到﹕
為什麼不能再象小時候一樣﹐
每天都覺得很快樂﹖

為什麼現在我
必須假裝快樂﹖

偏偏
我又不想說謊。

你了解
我在說什麼嗎﹖

但我不懂﹐
為什麼覺得 “難過” ﹐
就等于不快樂呢﹖

“難過” 也可以是一種
快樂呀﹗

嘿嘿嘿﹐
我真的很“難過” ﹐
我真的很快樂。

﹕(



Quoted from
Pourquoi 布瓜的世界
幾米 作品精選集

歲月

有時
一分鐘很長﹐
有時
卻又很短。

有時
我可以了解這世界﹐
有時
卻一點也不懂。

愛你時
一切美好﹐
怨你時
一切黑暗。

為何
歡樂過後
只剩下
一篇悲涼﹖



Quoted from
Pourquoi 布瓜的世界

幾米 作品精選集

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

OMG!

Oh My God!

There are the only words I can say. I gained kilos in just a week! What happened to me?!

I know I deserved it. You know what?! Since I have nothing to do after the examination last month, I only know how to eat and sleep at home. All the time, I am actually doing nothing.

Well, actually, I did something today. At least today I woke up at 8.40am (and usually I only wake up by 11am), took a bath and had a quick breakfast (bread, tea and kuih). Then I drove to my college to settle out the form of completion course. It took us quite some times to settle the form. Firstly, it was because my friend was late to college, had to wait for her then the 4 of us only went to get signature from the person in charge of each departments. Secondly, the entire people in charge of each department were busy. Anyway, everything was gone well.

After that, me and khee (a friend of mine) went leisure mall together. It was because we both have nothing to do. We stood in the book store for a long time, looked at books and flipped through the magazines. Stood there until our stomachs started grumbling, then we walked to Mong Kok restaurant. Once I sat down, I opened up the menu and ticked down the dishes I wanted. I ordered a bowl of wan tan mee soup and my fave ---- a hot cup of almond tea. Finally, I had the chance to taste it. While my friend ordered a cold ‘ying yong’ and a Hong Kong’s style pork burger. She kept on telling me story and never really ate her meal. At the end, I tried to finish up for her. Then we ordered waffles with ice cream topping as dessert. Well, I ate quite a lot too. At about 4pm, we went to secret recipe and ate yogurt cheese cake. Yum-Yum. This was the first time I ate yogurt cheese. It was very delicious and tasty. I don’t really know how to describe it. The cheese and yogurt melted in my mouth. Wow! Delicious!

Haha. I am going to try more cakes from the secret recipe! Americano, apple slice cheese, baked cheese, classic cheese… And my next target is going to be raspberry cheese cake. Raspberry cheese cake, wait for me!

See, everyday and every of my posts are about food and eating. I think, I am living just to eat. Yummy~


P.S: Khee, actually the truth is that, you never ate much today. This was because u kept on talking until I finish up your plate too.

This was the first time I ate so many things (contain lots of sugar and fats) in a day.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Sleepless night

Don’t know what happen to me tonight. I am not tired and not readily to get into bed yet.
By this time, I should have off my room’s light, get into the bed, put up the blanket, try to get a good sleep and be a sleeping beauty. Wonder what’s wrong with me lately, every nights, I can’t get a good night sleep. Every hour (if I am not mistaken), I will wake up from my sleep and hardly can get back to sleep again. As for the next day, you can see that there are dark, wide circles underneath my eyes. These cause my eyes shine-no-more.
I always ask myself, why every night I am sleepless
Sigh… Too bad, no one can answer me.

Tonight would be another sleepless night again. I’ve woke up very early this morning. I’ve done a lot of things today. Till now, I am not sleepy at all. OMG! Now the thing that I can do is playing Bejeweled from msn. Make my eyes tired so that I can sleep soon. I wonder where the sleeping pills are?! Don’t even know where my dad places them.

Well, today, I went to mid valley with Ching. I’ve got nothing to do. So, I asked her out to accompany me. Hehe. Well, we had out lunch in Kim Gary restaurant. I ordered a Hong Kong’s style fillet burger and a hot cup of almond tea while ching ordered a Shanghai’s style noodles and a cup of Chinese tea. Sigh… Every time when I dine in Kim Gary restaurant and the Almond tea, they sure will say ‘it’s not ready at a moment’ or ‘sorry, they are all sold out’. Why?! Why is this so?! Wondering they do not have this drink or what. If really don’t have this drink, then better don’t put it in the menu!!! Went to this restaurant 10 times, 10 times also don’t have the almond tea I want!!! I ended up having Hong Kong’s style ‘Ying Yong’. Really don’t know when can I have a chance to taste a sip of Almond tea again?!

Have the Feel of drinking it now. However, where can I get it in this late night?

Well, today, we just walked around, hang around and chat. Spent our time to do some window shopping and tried on all those shirts and pants and accessories that looked nice. I think we might have trouble the sales assistant. We just tried on every single piece without buying anything. Carnival sales will soon be here in just a day or two. Some of the shops already have pre-carnival sales. Sales, sales and sales every where. Too bad, I have no money at this moment. Well, I’d found something nice from some stores. Now my mind keeps on flashing the bangles and a shirt I tried on today. Sigh… I should have bought them so I won’t miss them so much! Hope that I won’t dream of them later. I will get back to the stores and get them soon!

My eyes still not tired at all. Want to sleep but can’t get into sleep. Suffering, right?!

I guess Bejeweled might help?!

Bejeweled, here I come!!!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Me = clumsy

Now I am having a problem in typing and my typing rate is going to be extraordinary slow. Sigh… I was very clumsy.

Here what happen to me just now. I was busy hunting and searching for food in the store room. Feeling hungry and depressed. Let see, what I want to eat? Cereals, cookies, snacks… Aha! Finally, I found that there was a large tin of Jacob’s Hi-Fibre cracker which was bought from supermarket yesterday by mum.

I was very happy and excited. Crackers were my favourite. Besides, there was a small amount of strawberry jam left in the jam jar which was kept in the fridge. I was really happy. My empty stomach finally could fill up with something. There was a sharp point on the lid. Without realizing that, eagerly, I used a silvery spoon to open up the lid.

OUCH! I cried in pain. My thumb was cut deeply. It was bleeding.

Sigh… there were already many scratches on my left arm and hand. And here comes another cut on my thumb. My poor left arm and hand. I wonder when are the wounds and scratches going to be fine and gone?!

After washing the cut and applied the plaster, I ate 10 pieces of crackers, 5 oreos and a cup of tea as my tea time’s meal.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

A passage

Yesterday night I found out something
This afternoon I read a passage posted in my friend’s blog
The feeling of sadness drives out from my heart
I couldn’t help myself
When I was reading her post,
Pearls of tears were crammed full in my eyes
I was touched by her passage

Story of a couple,
From the beginning until the end
A long story
A sad story
A touched story

The relationship between the couple has been drawn with a huge full stop
The girl told me she was sad
But there is nothing else she could do

I tried to IM the girl
I tried to SMS the girl
I tried to talk to the girl
I tried to do anything which can comfort her

I’m truly understand her feeling
Sad and hurt down deep into the heart
However,
I know she is strong
I know she is tough
I believe that she can stand up soon
And continue to walk in her journey
And continue to walk in her life

Hope my comforts work well on the girl
Believe in yourself
You’ll manage to get through all these


這個字一共有七畫 (以簡體字來說)
外是個‘門’ 字
內是個‘心’ 字
把‘心’ 鎖進‘門’ 裡
那就等于一個‘悶’ 字

就象這樣﹐已是第三天了
自己就被鎖在門裡。
我個人已經呆在家好幾天了﹐
無所事事﹐
天天只懂得發呆﹐
從早上到晚上。

天呀。。。
真的好悶好悶呀﹗

每天在家﹐反反復復所做的都是同樣的事。
吃飯﹐看電視節目﹐睡覺。
當然﹐上網是我每天所一定要做的事情。
除了這4樣事外﹐看來我沒有別的事可以做了。
有啊﹐看雜誌﹗ 但是﹐這個月的雜誌﹐ 3本都給我讀完的。
想找這個朋友出去﹐她告訴我說她要上課。
想找那個朋友出去﹐她告訴我說她不得空。


天呀。。。
真的好悶好悶呀﹗

不知我還得做多久的‘量地官’ 呢﹗~

Monday, July 11, 2005

天空

聽着自己的心跳 沒有規則的跳躍
我安靜的在思考 並不想被誰打擾

我們曾緊緊擁抱 卻又輕易地放掉
這種感覺很奇妙 該這麼說才好

時間分割成對角 停止你對我的好 瓦解我們的依靠

在你離開之後的天空 我象風箏尋一個夢 雨後的天空

是否有放晴的面容 我靜靜的望着天空
試着尋找失落的感動 只能用笑容
期待着雨過天晴的彩虹

天空 by 蔡依林

這首歌的意義極大
就象說着我的心聲那樣
當他離開了之後﹐我宛如象斷了線的風箏
飄着飄着
無依無靠
就這樣 誰着風飄着而去
尋找一個能讓自己降落的地點
我的渴望便成期望
而期望變成等待

回想起
相當後悔當初所立下的決定

算了﹐我就讓自己隨風而去吧﹗

PS﹕艷﹐你的確很了解我的心﹐謝謝﹗

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Part 2

What a great trip i had! I just got back from Redang Island yesterday. That's the first time i went to island with a gang of friends. i think the 8 of us enjoyed during this 3days 2nights. besides that, lots of funny things happened too!

Well, i have not written anything here for a week. Erm... I guess this is a busy week.

Let me tell you what i've done for the whole week

Monday: I went out with my mum to Jaya Jusco and got a mixer.
Tuesday: went to chingie's house (together with tingie). Know wat me and tingie had done in chingie's house? We just mess up the whole place, took out everything from her secret drawer (there are many secrets in her drawer, :P)
Wednesday: went out with my mum again to settle out something. at night, i went to yan's house and overnight there. Ni was there too!
Thursday: Well, this was the worse day of all. 3 of us got up at 4am and we had only 2 hours sleep! Rushed to the airport in 45mins, took a flight to Terengganu, an hour bus journey to Merang Jetty, an hour and a half of the boat ride to reach to Redang Island. can you imagine how tired we are?! We reached Redang by 12, tired and hungry. and we still had to wait for another hour then only can had our lunch.
Friday: the bunch of us got up by 4.30am and ran to the beach side to wait for the sun rise. Yep, We arrived at the place at 5am and the sky was still dark. sigh, we watched no sun rise too. it's alwasy easier to get the sunset than the sunrise.
saturday: maybe all us were to tired. We missed our breakfast! i was the first to wake up by 8.30am. and then, i had to run to another room to wake up the guys. Hungry + sleepy + tired. We searched for the shop and stall for breakfast. gone through the whole area from redang beach resort to laguna. Finally, walked back to our resort again to have our breakfast at a stall. checked out, took an hour boat ride, van ride to terengganu airport, a flight to KLIA, 45mins van ride and finally i reached home by 7pm. Thank you yen for taking me home -----> okay, you are a gentleman.
sunday: actually i just got back from a tea with friends. and also to bid farewell with a friend, jian. he'll be leaving to aus tonight. jian, take good care of yourself.

that was how i spent my week. cool, right? however, i am broke now. spent all my saving on the trip already. sigh... I really wonder how can i survive for next week.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Part 1: Free from exam and studies

Exam was over! Hooray!!! i want to scream now. But i am too tired to do so. actually the exam was over since tuesday. I am relief bacause I don't have to face my book and can have a good holiday by now. however, i am having a headache now. I wonder why...

From tuesday until now, my days were full with activities.
Wednesday, i went shopping with my best friends in the morning and sang songs in red box karaoke, and had a BBQ party at night with college's friends.
Thurday, I went out with my secondary school friends and have fun in neway karaoke.
Friday , I went out with one of the best friends and shop in a mall.
Saturday, I went out with my mum to settle something.
Sunday, I went to my friend's house ---- a friend who just came back from australia and hold an open house.
once went out, the whole day gone.
well, from wednesday until today, they were full with activities.

hmmm.... i wonder how it'll be the next week?!

^^

p.s. To one of my friends, khee. Do hope she is ok and dun get so down.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Carols

初めてあった日お 今も覚えている?
照れたように君はうつむいて
目を反らしてばかりだったね

その仕草をとても 愛しく思うように
なったのわいつの頃だったかな
なんだか懐かしいね

やがていくつもの季節が
僕達のまえを足早に通りぬけた

白い雪が街を染める頃にも
君の側にいさせて
私これからも
困らせてばかりかもしれないけど


。。。

This is part of the lyrics from carols. It is a Japanese song sang by my favourite artist, Ayumi Hamasaki. I put up the song in this blog. Nice, isn’t it?!

Her album, My story was officially released in December last year. When I visited to my friend’s house, she played that CD. The first song she played was walking proud. That was a very nice song. I was extremely fall in love into that song. Well, correct me, it was fall in love at the first sight. Haha. That’s a very nice song!

Okay, let’s come back to Carols. Wonder why I put up this song in my blog? Actually there is no reason. The music is soft and sweet. This is the 2nd song I like the most in My Story. Ayumi wrote all the lyrics by herself. She said that the lyrics she wrote came from her true feeling. A great singer she is, isn’t it?

All the while, sounds like I am promoting her album, right? Well, it’s true that her album ‘My Story’ worth a lot. Now I am listening to this song again. Think I really can’t live without this song.



* type those japanese lyrics by myself. tough >.<
think i should work hard on my japanese last time

Sunday, June 26, 2005

The Secret...

I got to know about that from a friend. I was very shock to hear it. My heart was full with pain and sorrow all of a sudden. It was then tore apart. Separate into two. And un-sewed. There were tears in my eyes. And finally tears caressed my cheek.

I couldn't believe what i've heard last friday. It was way too soon for me to accept the reality. This couldn't be! I must forget about it. The nightmare that came too early. I knew that one day it'll come true. however, I never thought that it would happen so soon.

I must try very hard to forget about that!

I would not want that to affect my feeling, my mood, and myself.
I want back myself like the 1 in the past.
The girl who love to laugh.
The girl who always carrying a smile on her face.

The ME

Saturday, June 25, 2005

My First Post

Finally, I’ve got my own blog. Wow, it took me hours to set up everything. You know, I am not good in computer. I'm just a noob and still learning to get use to my computer (still the same old comp). Thank you, my friends, for being helping me out to bring the 'success' to my blog.

Well, after a hard time having the exam for a week, sigh... it's not end yet. I still have to face my last 2 papers ---- chemistry and mathematics on coming Tuesday. These 2 papers are going to be tough. They are nightmares to me! You know, I hate math. Especially it comes to pure math and core math. I wonder why we have to learn so many things in integration and differentiation?! Dunno am I still having the chance to use it in the future. At this time, I shouldn't be here, sitting in front of the monitor, composing first post on my blog. I should have sit in front of my desk and keep my head down with the math. However, I can't help myself! Ends up, sitting here, typing and at a mean time eating 'popiah' as the appetiser. Mum's not going to cook for us today. My parents were out. I have to settle the dinner myself.
Poor me.

Whatever, I’ll just eat anything that i can find in the fridge.
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